for the first time in a very long while, he made me feel useless and inferior.

and it just had to come after a quarrel with my dad, which made me cry, and cry..
please stop doing this to me, stop making me take sides, stop making me listen to whatever bad shit you have to say abt mum, stop it..stop threatening, stop breaking your promises..cos with every word you say, the more i realise that no matter how much i do for you, its not enough.
just how much must i do to prove that you both are equally important? how much more must i prove? how much more do i need to do..stop telling me you rather end your life, stop telling me that you wanna hide from my mum because this war will never stop, stop telling me that you're sorry that its affecting me, daddy, i'm sorry i can't help you. if being a good daughter means i must take ur side, im really sorry im not ur good daughter. i cant seem to be ur perfect daughter.

i sent an sms to eric today, 'i want to be able to go through bullshit and come out smelling like a flower.' it's so damn difficult.

NO i cant let it affect me, I CANT. i dont have anymore energy.....

If your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it


i like you, but it's killing me inside.